I commonly joke that B “whores” me out because if she finds another little girl she wants to be friends with she will tell the little girl that I will be her mom’s friend and they can have play dates and be friends. So she will run up to me with said girl and in front of the other mom say something along the lines of, “Mommy, this is my new friend _______, get her mommy’s phone number so you can text her and we can have play dates.” Me and the other mom will awkwardly smile at one another and wait for the other to make the first move. I don’t think I am the only one that has ever experienced this but I could be wrong. Haha. It is so awkward for me. On the inside I am like, “Yay! A potentially new awesome mom friend!” But on the outside I smile and wait for her to ask for my number. Making new mom friends, for me, is just as awkward as dating. It’s a delicate tango of “how do I tell this person I want to be their friend without seeming desperate!” I mean come on… B has been in dance for almost four years now and I am just barely getting around to being comfortable with making new mom friendships out of the blue with my fellow dance moms.
Being that I am on a journey to build friendships with moms of little girls that my kid just adores…I have compiled some truths for myself (and maybe for you) that I want to live by when it comes to
dating making new mom friends:
1. I have a really good kid. I am not just saying that. She really is. She will be good to your kid. If your kid doesn’t reciprocate the kindness– I cannot see you for future play dates. It isn’t personal. It wasn’t a good fit. It’s me. Not you.
2. If you need to run to the bathroom or take a call– I will watch your kid(s) for you. Take your time. I got your back girl.
3. Put your phone away. Let’s chat. It’s okay if we aren’t going to be the best of friends, let’s at least be good examples of how people should interact with each other.
4. More than likely.. I do like you and I want to talk. Let’s talk. Not about other moms or about who you don’t like or why. Let’s just talk. Again, let’s be a good example for the kids.
5. Don’t be overly sensitive. I promise I won’t be. If my daughter or I do something that upsets you, please tell me. I will tell you if your kid does the same.
6. Approach everything with kindness and consideration.
7. Honesty. I will be honest. Please do the same. It is okay to tell me you want to hang. More than likely I do too. It is okay to tell me you don’t. I won’t get my feelings hurt.
8. Support. I support you. Please support me. We may not agree on parenting styles and that is okay but it is not my place to judge you or talk about you.
I have been very blessed to have met a certain few moms that have become my true friends. I think it is so important to have someone in your corner like a fellow mama. They usually won’t get upset if you don’t reply for a week to their text because your kid is sick. They usually understand when you are ten minutes late for a play date because you couldn’t find your kid’s matching shoe. They usually have a long to-do list like you do and feel overwhelmed like you might be also. I think it is most important to surround yourself with people, especially moms, that love and support you. Ones that don’t give unsolicited advice about what juice you give your kid or tell you what time they should be in bed by. We are moms… all just trying to be and do the best that we can.
I am excited to report from the front lines of “moms” that I do see a forward movement of support and love. I have seen in more recent years; mothers supporting each other versus judging and critiquing one another. We just need more of it. Being a mama is tough and rewarding but with the right people in your corner, it makes it even more rewarding and a little less tough xo