And her name is “B”…
My husband, Chris, and I have been married for 8 years now. I am blessed enough to say that I married the man I had always wanted for myself but never quite felt that I deserved. He is the kindest and most considerate person I know. He teaches me daily how to be a better me.
When I met Chris, I was not the best me. I was not the worst me either but I definitely didn’t have any frame of reference of how I deserved to be treated or any sort of standard of what a healthy relationship was. He changed all that.
We got married in 2006. I was hard to love. Very hard to love. I was dramatic and overly sensitive but what did the poor guy do? He.just.loved.me.through.it. And he did it without hesitation. He saw the potential whole self I could be when I felt fragmented… shattered. He never stopped loving me. I grew by leaps and bounds in our first year of marriage and for his patience and love… I am forever grateful.
In 2009, we welcomed our baby girl.
I was whole.
People told me that I would fall even harder for him… I didn’t quite believe it… But I sure did. I saw him more gentle and more tender than I had ever seen him before. The way she looked so tiny in his arms was mesmerizing. I would catch him staring at her in complete silence… just looking down at her… soaking it all in. I loved hearing his deep voice go to a high pitch when he’d baby talk her. I even loved watching his panicked face when he couldn’t get her to stop fussing.
He has been the best daddy to B these last five years. He is so attentive to her. He is her biggest fan. He tells her she is beautiful every single day. He praises her when she does well and encourages her through the rough moments. He faithfully takes her out on “Daddy-Daughter” dates. He dresses up for her and she does the same for him. He lets her jump, crawl, and sit all over him– basically like her own personal jungle gym. He calls her throughout the day if he is working and will always answer her with “Hello Baby” with a soft voice despite whoever is around.
My husband is in love with another girl and her name is B. I love him even more for it.
Chris was already an amazing man when I met him– everything above is a testament to that but the day when B was born; it birthed in him the desire to be an even better human being, husband, and father. And I am so blessed.
I am so blessed that I get to see the love between B and her Daddy firsthand. You see– I did not have a daddy quite like B. I had a wonderful father who raised me since I was five but unfortunately that didn’t undue the damage of feeling abandoned by the one that should have stayed. I feel that God is giving me a second chance to see this relationship through B’s and Chris’ relationship. I get to see them share all the things I only imagined for myself.
My joy comes from them laughing and cuddling when it’s way past her bedtime.
My joy comes from B snitching on her Daddy about him allowing her to put a little too much candy on her froyo.
My joy comes from her hearing the garage door opening and racing down the stairs to meet him as he comes through the door.
My joy comes from seeing her handwritten love notes to her Daddy lying around the house.
My joy comes from them.
Chris holding baby B. May 2009.