My Tia Rosanna

 So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.

2 Corinthians 5:6-8

***

May 19th my Tia Rosanna passed from this Earth to enjoy Heaven until we get there.

I am no stranger to loss. I am no stranger to this pain. I am no stranger to the frustration that comes with wanting to say “I love you” just one more time. I am no stranger to the lack of sleep and distraction that comes with constantly thinking of your loved one. I am also no stranger to the love that pours from family when you need it the most. I am also no stranger to what a difference just being there with family makes.

This is difficult for everyone in my family but I am so encouraged by everyone’s love for one another. No one has to say, “Come over, be with me, sit with me, hug me.” We all just by nature migrate to my mom’s house and are just there for one another. We all offer a hug and encouraging word when someone is having a difficult moment. Of course I would rather this not be something that we have to endure but being that these are the circumstances, I realize I wouldn’t want anyone else in my corner other than these people. We love hard, fiercely, and without reservation. I am so blessed that these are my “people.” Yes– everyone is imperfect… we all have our moments but the imperfections doesn’t have any bearing on the amount of love we all have for one another. I feel so encouraged… we have one another. My Tia is not in pain. Her body has been restored. I know she is looking down on us and happy to see we have one another. I know we are making her proud by being there for one another.

 ***

The night before she passed– I had a lot of alone time with her. I rubbed her arms, held her hands, and lightly tickled (a light scratch which we call cariños) her beautiful hair that was growing back into this insanely perfect pixie. I admired her beautiful glow, her soft skin, that Miami tan, and her perfect face. I started thinking of all the things she has shared with me– all the courage she displayed constantly. I started to feel inspired…

I leaned in and made her promises:

I promised her I would be braver.

I promised her I would take more chances.

I promised her that I would make her proud.

These are things I have been working on but she ignited the desire in me. She was the fiercest woman in the smallest package. She traveled, she didn’t need a man in order to do anything, she made her own way in this life, she was such a daredevil. She didn’t allow cancer to be her excuse for anything. During her fight, she wouldn’t sulk… she wouldn’t complain even though she had every reason in the world to. She went to every family gathering, she shopped (for hours!), she went to restaurants, she stayed around the dinner table and laughed with us for hours, she danced, heck– she even got on roller coasters.

This woman is tenacious.

This woman is brave.

This woman is strong.

This woman is brilliant.

This woman is resting in heaven.

(She probably isn’t resting– probably swimming and enjoying all the organic sourced food she could eat.)

I use the tense is and not was because to say was is to say her life is over. That she is gone forever. She isn’t. Yes, she is gone from this earth but she IS in heaven and living therefore she IS tenacious, brave, strong, and brilliant. God gave her those amazing qualities and He gets to enjoy them in Heaven with her while we wait to be reunited for a bit.

***

I miss you Tia. I know this hurt is temporary and will be worth the wait until we see you again.

I honor you. I love you.

Thanks for reading and “Oceans of Love and Time” to you and yours.

xo

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