My Miracle

I haven’t been able to blog for a while.

I don’t have writer’s block– it’s more like writer’s dam.

I have a barrier in my brain from thinking about writing anything other than this one thing.

You ready for it?:

After having Brooklyn, we have found out that we cannot have any more children. 

***

This isn’t to say that with the help of medical intervention that we cannot possibly achieve the goal of another bundle of joy. We possibly can. We just don’t want to go that route because the risks far out way the benefits.

Why do I feel the need to even write this?

Because well-intentional people via social media or in my life always ask me when we are going to have another kid or why we don’t have one yet. The inquiring doesn’t bother me in any way but I am sick of avoiding it. Avoiding it, for me… makes me feel shameful. Like I am ashamed that my body cannot do what God made women to do. But that isn’t at all true. I am not ashamed. Nor should any woman that cannot conceive feel ashamed.

Am I sad?

Yes. Well, at first I was. Now there are just very few moments of sadness. I have come to terms with it. I am blessed beyond belief because I realize that to even have B is a miracle in itself. I am blessed that I was able to carry her and give birth to her.

Am I mad?

No. Not at all. I guess I can see why people would assume I would be. “God, how could this happen?… What did I do wrong?” I am not mad at God at all. I know very well His answer is “no,” and I am okay with that. I do not need to know His reasoning but only that I am happy where I am, blessed with what I have, and cannot drive myself crazy with the what-ifs and whys. I realize I gave birth to an amazing little girl and I am grateful for her. She is a miracle.

Am I hopeful?

Of course. I haven’t lost hope but only gained contentment. I am so content with just having B. More than content, really. Satisfied, happy, joyful. Yeah, that is it… I am so joyful. 

***

My purpose is to be transparent and encouraging. I want to be transparent because I want to be encouraging. I want to let those know who might be struggling with infertility that each journey is our own. One is not like the other. I only hope that those of you on your journey do not feel ashamed. You will have your moments of sadness, anger, and hopelessness. Then you might even have your moments of happiness and acceptance.

When we found out I wasn’t able to conceive without fertility drugs– I was in denial. I didn’t really take it seriously. I just conveniently told myself, “God will heal me.” It wasn’t until a few months later with no results that I thought back to that day. I started researching about the drugs I would need to take, my condition, and the condition of my health when I delivered B. Chris and I talked about it and we decided on not using medical intervention. It was not a risk we personally wanted to take. We kept living life and every now and again I would convince myself by some miracle I was pregnant and buy pregnancy tests. They were always negative.

A little over a year ago I had a serious run in with anemia. It changed my whole life– not because of the condition itself, but because it forced me to really deal with the fact that I will not be having anymore children. That I couldn’t bear a son to carry on my husband’s family name, that I couldn’t bear a sister for B to be as close to as I am to all of mine, or even for myself– one more chance to snuggle a baby that was all mine.

I felt the Holy Spirit comfort me. I felt a undeniable force of peace. I felt something telling me “no” when I wanted the answer to be “yes.” That was the catalyst that helped me freely cry, feel sadness, acceptance, and then lastly comfort in talking about it.

I have the most amazing family. My husband is amazing. He is so encouraging. He reassures me anytime that I need it that he doesn’t need another baby to feel complete. That he is far beyond blessed and happy with our family of three. We joke that we could never love another like B anyways. He offers me comfort with his humor. Comfort through his silence when I need to talk about it and he just listens. Comfort through his big big hugs and kisses on the forehead.

B is so comforting as well. She tells me she wouldn’t want me to put chemicals in my body to have another baby. She tells me that she is so happy with being the only child (no surprise there). She says that she is happy to just be us three.

I realize I am blessed to even have B. I realize that there are many many women who will not get the opportunity that I have been given so I do not and will not ever take it for granted. Here are a few things that I remind myself of on days that I need it the most:

Not being able to get pregnant does NOT make me less of a woman.

Not being able to get pregnant does NOT make me less desirable to my husband.

Not being able to get pregnant does NOT indicate I have done something wrong.

Not being able to get pregnant IS a hard thing to accept.

Accepting not being able to get pregnant does NOT mean you have given up hope.

***

Every journey is different. One is not like the other. This is not an outline of how anyone should or will feel. This is my journey. I am not ashamed. I am complete. I am happy. I am blessed.

Here is my miracle on the day she was born:

My Miracle

Thank you for reading!

Oceans of love to you and yours.

xo

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When Does She Have Time To Play?

… Someone asked me that via Facebook the other day when I over shared our activities for that day.

Tennis at 7:00 AM

Swim at 10:30 AM

School for B at 11:30 AM

Volunteering (just me this time so she could rest) at 2:00 pm

Dance at 4:30 PM

A Show as a Family at 7:30 PM

***

Granted, that Tuesday was exceptionally busy, so no.. there wasn’t a whole lot of playing going on for her that day. But in general– this kid plays A LOT.

Even though I know she does play a lot, I couldn’t help but question myself…

::: Is she too busy?:::

It prompted me to ask her if she feels too busy at times…

“No Mommy. It’s fun. I like to work hard.”

Can a six year old have a good work ethic? Is it possible that she thrives off the hours of hard work she puts in in a day? I think that she does. It makes me proud that no only does she willingly do all her activities and schoolwork without a fuss but that she is so dedicated to it and actually enjoys it. She makes me proud constantly. And if I am being honest here, she would make me proud no matter what she does/did. Even if she wanted to not do anything and chill at home all the time I would be like, “Wow- you chilled so good today! You’re the best chiller in the whole world!” Haha.

***

That’s nice Aushrielle, but does she have time to play?

Yes.

This kid has an incredible imagination.

This gigantic empty box stayed in the living room for a week. It was a spaceship, a car, a camper, and a house. With her play kitchen and kid table she serves up a mean four-course meal complete with handmade menus. With her dollhouse she runs a rug store, a daycare, and a restaurant. If she helps me cook– she turns whatever we are doing into a cooking show… making me talk to the fake audience in front of me. Because she isn’t very maternal, her babies and dolls are used as fashion models– complete with individual makeovers and hair-dos (all her hair accessories and accessories end up on her dolls). With my blow dryer, towels, brushes, and combs she turns my living room into a full-service hair salon for her Daddy. She has way too many toys and enjoys playing with every single thing she has. She loves to play alone, with friends, and with us.

Yes.

She plays.

I just happen to have a kid that enjoys being busy too. She sets out her clothes for tennis and swim the night before. She makes sure I have all her needed items like her racket, towel, and goggles. She will run over to check my planner to see what is going on for that day and even take a peek in hers if she put any of her schedule down. This kid thrives off of the stimulation of “hard work” and play.

Her dedication brings me joy.

Her work ethic brings me joy.

Her incredible imagination brings me joy.

Heck, even the Whole Food paper bags filled with all her “groceries” after her character “Samantha” went shopping that I have to put away brings me joy.

***

The question I was asked on Facebook did not offend me at all. I will use it as a healthy reminder. A reminder for balance. A reminder to relish the days we stay home and play or do nothing at all and to be grateful for the days that we get to run around to all these activities.

Oceans of Love.

XO

Thank you for reading!

My Tia Rosanna

 So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.

2 Corinthians 5:6-8

***

May 19th my Tia Rosanna passed from this Earth to enjoy Heaven until we get there.

I am no stranger to loss. I am no stranger to this pain. I am no stranger to the frustration that comes with wanting to say “I love you” just one more time. I am no stranger to the lack of sleep and distraction that comes with constantly thinking of your loved one. I am also no stranger to the love that pours from family when you need it the most. I am also no stranger to what a difference just being there with family makes.

This is difficult for everyone in my family but I am so encouraged by everyone’s love for one another. No one has to say, “Come over, be with me, sit with me, hug me.” We all just by nature migrate to my mom’s house and are just there for one another. We all offer a hug and encouraging word when someone is having a difficult moment. Of course I would rather this not be something that we have to endure but being that these are the circumstances, I realize I wouldn’t want anyone else in my corner other than these people. We love hard, fiercely, and without reservation. I am so blessed that these are my “people.” Yes– everyone is imperfect… we all have our moments but the imperfections doesn’t have any bearing on the amount of love we all have for one another. I feel so encouraged… we have one another. My Tia is not in pain. Her body has been restored. I know she is looking down on us and happy to see we have one another. I know we are making her proud by being there for one another.

 ***

The night before she passed– I had a lot of alone time with her. I rubbed her arms, held her hands, and lightly tickled (a light scratch which we call cariños) her beautiful hair that was growing back into this insanely perfect pixie. I admired her beautiful glow, her soft skin, that Miami tan, and her perfect face. I started thinking of all the things she has shared with me– all the courage she displayed constantly. I started to feel inspired…

I leaned in and made her promises:

I promised her I would be braver.

I promised her I would take more chances.

I promised her that I would make her proud.

These are things I have been working on but she ignited the desire in me. She was the fiercest woman in the smallest package. She traveled, she didn’t need a man in order to do anything, she made her own way in this life, she was such a daredevil. She didn’t allow cancer to be her excuse for anything. During her fight, she wouldn’t sulk… she wouldn’t complain even though she had every reason in the world to. She went to every family gathering, she shopped (for hours!), she went to restaurants, she stayed around the dinner table and laughed with us for hours, she danced, heck– she even got on roller coasters.

This woman is tenacious.

This woman is brave.

This woman is strong.

This woman is brilliant.

This woman is resting in heaven.

(She probably isn’t resting– probably swimming and enjoying all the organic sourced food she could eat.)

I use the tense is and not was because to say was is to say her life is over. That she is gone forever. She isn’t. Yes, she is gone from this earth but she IS in heaven and living therefore she IS tenacious, brave, strong, and brilliant. God gave her those amazing qualities and He gets to enjoy them in Heaven with her while we wait to be reunited for a bit.

***

I miss you Tia. I know this hurt is temporary and will be worth the wait until we see you again.

I honor you. I love you.

Thanks for reading and “Oceans of Love and Time” to you and yours.

xo

Cancer Does Not Care

Cancer.

It doesn’t care about your future goals.

It doesn’t care that you someday want to see your child get married.

It doesn’t care about your family.

It doesn’t care about your mind, body, or soul.


My (newly six year old) daughter said it the best the other night as she cried herself to sleep:

“Cancer is a monster. A monster that doesn’t care about anything.”

***

Cancer has hit too close to home for B and I. Someone beautiful, strong, and brave is, according to the doctors, “losing her battle with cancer.” We will call her “Our Mermaid” to maintain her privacy. We will call her Our Mermaid because I have never met someone who loves the ocean as much as she does. Almost every time we spoke she talked about the ocean and the beautiful beaches she has visited. I often got a sense that she felt free on a boat our with her toes in the sand. Our Mermaid is brilliant, strong, and strong-willed. She is fighting… fighting harder than I have ever seen someone fight for something.

She has, for most of my life, lived in a different state so we aren’t extremely close but since her battle with cancer began in October of 2014, she moved with my parents so they and her sister here can support her through her battle and we have gotten closer. I treasure this because I have gotten to know her a little better. (And as I write this– I see the word “battle.” I don’t even think that word expresses what cancer does to someone. WAR. War expresses it better. Someone who has cancer is in a full-out WAR with the monster that is cancer.) Not only did I get to be closer to her, but B did as well. Our Mermaid’s face lights up when she sees B. She actually calls her B and rarely by her full name. They like to talk fashion, shopping, and eating non-GMO (yes, my kid is all about that non-gmo or organic label). Our Mermaid is often cold because of her war so you can usually find her snuggled up with a big comfy blanket on the couch. This is like an open invitation to B because there are few things she likes more than a big snuggly blanket to share with someone so they like to sit on the couch together snuggled in a big blanket. Another thing they share together is their love of music. We once broke out into a full out dance party on Thanksgiving and I remember looking over at Our Mermaid, so thin and frail yet strong as all heck, got up and danced when Sam Smith’s “Latch:” came on. In her soft sweet voice she said, “I love this song,” and she closed her eyes and danced.

***

It was just a few weeks ago that the doctors told us there is nothing more that they could do for her. It was a few weeks ago everything changed. Family members are constantly visiting, everyone is coming and going, and everyone is there for one another. We all rally around her… hold her hand, kiss her, talk to her, tell her she is beautiful…

Everyone has come together as a family to get through this.

B’s heart is so big. She feels so deeply that she cries often. The other night she cried for an hour and a half. She cried so hard that her eyes were puffy the next morning. Through her sobbing I heard things like, “It is just too hard to let go… It is too hard to say good-bye… I just can’t let go… I feel so bad for everyone… She has too much things to do still… “

Add to the list: Cancer doesn’t care about little girls who love big.

When I let her Tia know that night what B was going through, she called her right away and prayed over her and helped comfort her. After that phone call, B fell asleep cuddled up next to me and quickly fell asleep. The next morning, she was feeling better and I was feeling worse. My heart was heavy… B noticed this and said, “Mommy, let’s think of happy things about Our Mermaid.” I did. It helped.

It is in times like these that you need your family. You must come together to support one another. I am so so grateful that we do this. I am so glad that we care deeply for one another. It makes me so proud to be apart of this family. This family is a big mix of people that is not made up of just genetics but of people choosing to be family despite the lack of DNA similarities. My Dad chose to be my Dad twenty four years ago and with that I have been apart of this beautiful family that has come together to be there for one another.

I have not given up hope. I believe in miracles but if God decides he wants Our Mermaid home– It will hurt. Bad. But I am grateful we have each other to hold until we reunite again.

Our Mermaid always signed off with “Oceans of Love.”

So I wish to you, oceans of love and happiness to you and yours and thanks for reading!

xo

What is your story???….

Today was a great great day! What a wonderful Easter. It was full of church, lots of laughs, cat naps, food, jumping castles, water slides, candy, some more food, and games. I always love Easter. I always feel so blessed. My heart and spirit always feel renewed ❤

Miss. B had a wonderful day too. She isn’t the easiest kid to wake up but as soon as I mentioned something about an “Easter basket” she was UP! She ran down the stairs and found her basket of little treasures and she was elated. She rummaged through her basket and packed up some of her goodies for church.

After church we went to my parent’s house and basically was there the entire day. B was non-stop! Running from the water slide to the bounce house.. from the bounce house to the water slide… for hours. When we left my parent’s house and headed home, she was so silent in the backseat that I figured she was practically asleep.

NOPE.

We sat around for a bit because it was nice to just, sit. We sat. We recapped the day. Talked about how much fun today was and what our plans are for the week.

Then out of no where B says this:

“What is your story?”

The hubs asked her what she meant…

“What is your story?… Like how did you and Mommy meet?… What is your love story, Daddy?”

I looked at the clock and it was already thirty minutes past her bedtime. I looked at Chris as to ask if he is going to tell her. He said, “I will tell you…”

She flashed a big smile and scooted around in her chair to get comfortable.

Our Love Story

In May of 2006, I moved to Phoenix from Tucson. I started working at a bank. I didn’t know anyone. Literally– I knew no one. I was quiet and a little reserved so basically– I wasn’t the most approachable person in the world. Truth be told: I battle with a serious case of “resting (you know what) face.” I have gotten better in recent years but I just want to set the stage… So you can picture a really not outwardly friendly looking person. That was me.

Chris, meanwhile, was a trainer for new employees. He was always professional and smiling. He was training the morning shift and I was in the evening shift. There was a few hours in the day that our two classes would mix. This is when I first met him:

We were logging into our computers and testing out our ID’s when, according to him, he noticed me. He said that he especially liked my hair (I did have pretty cool hair then) and decided to find some excuse to talk to me so he asked me to try out my credentials on this particular computer. I had never met this person– but he was a trainer– so I just rolled with it. Didn’t think anything of it. Obviously I didn’t because the next thing to come out of my big stupid mouth was “I can tell I don’t like someone just by looking at them.”

A few weeks passed by and we didn’t speak again. In those few weeks, women were talking about Chris and his brother (he worked there too.) Always discussing about who was hotter, which one was available, if they are seeing anyone. They were basically the work “gossip.” I was young and super prideful so when women tried to get me involved in their conversations about them I had no comment. At first I was super annoyed by how all the women wouldn’t just shut up about these two brothers. Then, I remember one day watching Chris run back and forth between employees– helping them and answering all their questions all with a really big smile. He hustled. He seemed to have a really good work ethic and a sweet disposition. I was intrigued (plus, it’s not like his super good looks didn’t help).

Chris didn’t usually work weekends (I did)… But one Saturday he came to work dressed down versus the business attire I was used to seeing him wear. Man oh man– did he look HOT! Then the big “ice breaker” opportunity happened…

I was walking down the aisle and this guy that crushed on me called me over to his desk (which happened to be by the desk Chris was sitting at, at the time)… The guy had Chris’ sunglasses on and asked me…

***Disclaimer***

I used to be really forward and just plain rude at times. It usually got me in trouble but this time it worked in my favor.

Guy: “Do you like the way these glasses look on me?”

(I knew they were Chris’. I had seen them on him. I remembered because I was like ‘Damn, he’s hot’ in the inside when I had seen him wearing them earlier)

Me: “Not really, I like the way they looked on him better.” … Then I pointed to Chris.

The ice was officially broken. I had just put out there, that I was into him!

….

Over the next few weeks we would smile at each other in passing but I was really just waiting for him to make his next move.

A few weeks later he was passing by me on his way to lunch and he randomly asked me if I wanted anything for lunch. I didn’t really want anything but I wanted to say yes so I asked him to get me this particular pastry.

He did.

I just so happened to have brought fresh baked cookies in that day for my co-workers and I asked him if he wanted one.

Chris: “Save me one. Bring it to me later.”

I did save one for him. He explained to B tonight his reasoning for doing that.

Chris: “I asked Mommy to save me a cookie because if she did, I knew she was thinking about  me and wanted to save me one so that meant she possibly had a crush on me.”

(B loved this by the way. She giggled and told her Daddy that that was such a smart thing to do.)

Did I save him the very last cookie? Yes. I brought it to him. He was super chill and professional and thanked me.

I sat down at my desk a few minutes later and he instant messaged me. It went a little something like this:

Chris: Thank you for the cookie. 

Me: You’re welcome. Did you like it?

Chris: Yes. It was really good. Do you know how to cook or bake other things?

Me: Yes. I love to cook and bake. 

Chris: Do you know how to cook enchiladas? (That is his all time favorite food)

Me: Yes.

Chris: I will make you a deal. 

Me: OK…

Chris: Make me enchiladas and bring them and then I will take you out to dinner to thank you. 

Me: Haha. Okay. I can do that!

Chris: Here is my number xxx-xxx-xxxx. 

Me: Here is mine. I won’t call/text you first xxx-xxx-xxxx. 

Chris: Cool. Thank you again. 

Me: You’re welcome. 

It was over work instant messenger so it was super PG but obviously we were into each other.

We left work at the same time a few minutes later and I broke my stupid rule (and I am so glad I did)… I sent him a text first asking if he was stuck in traffic too. I can tell you right now I didn’t care about the traffic LOL. We started sending texts back and forth the rest of the day until he finally just asked if I wanted to just go out with him that night.

Internally I was like YES!!! but I probably replied with something super cool like… Sure or If you want to. 

We met at the movies. We watched Clerks II. We laughed sooooo hard. My belly ached from laughing so hard. It was the best movie to watch with him… there was no awkwardness like there maybe would have been with a scary movie or some rom-com. We just enjoyed the movie and each other’s company.

It was already past 11 pm when the movie got out but he told B and I tonight that he didn’t want the date to end so even though we both weren’t hungry we went to T.G.I Friday’s so we didn’t have to say good-bye. While we were there his friends kept texting and calling– wanting him to go out. He told B…

Chris: “I didn’t want to. I just wanted to keep hanging out with Mommy. So I told my friends no, that I wasn’t going to go.”

We left the restaurant at 1 am. He was a perfect gentleman. Walked me to my car. Hugged me. Thanked me for coming. Opened my car door and said good-bye.

The first thing the next morning: He texted me and asked me to spend the day with him.

I did.

The rest is history.

We dated for another month and a half. He proposed to me. We got married five months later. We have been together for nine years now. It has been the most tremendous nine years of my life. I have been blessed enough to wake up to his handsome face for the last eight years (it will be 9 in December).

I added a little something for B tonight to finish the story:

Me: “The very first thing Daddy did was text me when he got up. Every morning since then I have been the first thing on Daddy’s mind because he will say ‘good morning beautiful, squeeze me tight, or let me sleep a little longer and send me a text telling me he loves me.’ Now that you are here, we are both the first thought that comes to his mind.”

Chris: “It’s true. I really do live for you girls. My happiness comes from making you two happy. I will do anything for you two.”

That is our story.

Miss B. really enjoyed it and said, “I really like your guys’ story.” I found such joy in watching her laugh and smile while he was telling her “our story.” She really was into it. It makes me proud of the love story that we have. It makes me proud of every decision that we have made because it led us to being this family of three that I am just beyond blessed with.

Thank you for reading!

Happy Easter xo

Chris and I in 2006. Just a few days before he proposed. So young! I grateful my MIL captured all these moments!

Chris and I in 2006. Just a few days before he proposed. We were so young! I am grateful my MIL captured all these moments!

My Husband Loves Another

And her name is “B”…


My husband, Chris, and I have been married for 8 years now. I am blessed enough to say that I married the man I had always wanted for myself but never quite felt that I deserved. He is the kindest and most considerate person I know. He teaches me daily how to be a better me.

When I met Chris, I was not the best me. I was not the worst me either but I definitely didn’t have any frame of reference of how I deserved to be treated or any sort of standard of what a healthy relationship was. He changed all that.

We got married in 2006. I was hard to love. Very hard to love. I was dramatic and overly sensitive but what did the poor guy do? He.just.loved.me.through.it. And he did it without hesitation. He saw the potential whole self I could be when I felt fragmented… shattered. He never stopped loving me. I grew by leaps and bounds in our first year of marriage and for his patience and love… I am forever grateful.

In 2009, we welcomed our baby girl.

I was whole.

People told me that I would fall even harder for him… I didn’t quite believe it… But I sure did. I saw him more gentle and more tender than I had ever seen him before. The way she looked so tiny in his arms was mesmerizing. I would catch him staring at her in complete silence… just looking down at her… soaking it all in. I loved hearing his deep voice go to a high pitch when he’d baby talk her. I even loved watching his panicked face when he couldn’t get her to stop fussing.

He has been the best daddy to B these last five years. He is so attentive to her. He is her biggest fan. He tells her she is beautiful every single day. He praises her when she does well and encourages her through the rough moments. He faithfully takes her out on “Daddy-Daughter” dates. He dresses up for her and she does the same for him. He lets her jump, crawl, and sit all over him– basically like her own personal jungle gym. He calls her throughout the day if he is working and will always answer her with “Hello Baby” with a soft voice despite whoever is around.

My husband is in love with another girl and her name is B. I love him even more for it.

Chris was already an amazing man when I met him– everything above is a testament to that but the day when B was born; it birthed in him the desire to be an even better human being, husband, and father. And I am so blessed.

I am so blessed that I get to see the love between B and her Daddy firsthand. You see– I did not have a daddy quite like B. I had a wonderful father who raised me since I was five but unfortunately that didn’t undue the damage of feeling abandoned by the one that should have stayed. I feel that God is giving me a second chance to see this relationship through B’s and Chris’ relationship. I get to see them share all the things I only imagined for myself.

My joy comes from them laughing and cuddling when it’s way past her bedtime.

My joy comes from B snitching on her Daddy about him allowing her to put a little too much candy on her froyo.

My joy comes from her hearing the garage door opening and racing down the stairs to meet him as he comes through the door.

My joy comes from seeing her handwritten love notes to her Daddy lying around the house.

My joy comes from them.

Baby B

Chris holding baby B. May 2009.

My Greatest Joy

I try to find joy in all things. I haven’t always been this way… but now that I am a little older and wiser, I really aspire to see and appreciate the small things in life that add so much joy.

My daughter, however, adds great joy to me. In her smallest of ways– she adds more to me than anyone else ever has or could ever. I love her encouraging words. She always has something profound and loving to say to me, or anyone else for that matter. I love to watch her little hands work. The way she holds her pencil… you don’t even need to see her face, you can feel the concentration and perseverance in those little hands wanting to make the perfect “s,” or whatever letter she is wanting to perfect that day. I love the way her hair catches light and you can see all the shimmers from the heavens above. I love even the way she cries. The way her face stays red for hours– making me want to baby her until those marks all fade away.

She is my greatest joy. My greatest accomplishment. It is amazing how being a mother can change a person. How the world shakes with all it’s might the day they are born, but you are the only one that feels it. How as a mother, you now can say you will do anything for this little person and no one would question it. The way you sit and cry tears of happiness because you cannot believe she/he is all yours. I love being a mother. I am thankful that God has blessed me with this tremendously amazing human being.

I guess I am a blogger now.

I did it! I started a blog…One night… Right before I fell asleep. You know– The time of night when you think of all the things you have to do, haven’t done, and want to do. I wanted to create a space for me. I wanted to have a place I can feel creative. A place that I can be inspired by other people. A place where I can basically just share my life as a mom, wife, and woman.

How does one start out the very first post, anyway? Let me try…

My name is Aushrielle.

I have been married to the man of my dreams (Total cliche, I know. But it’s also totally honest) for 8 years now.

We have one amazing daughter, I call B.

We have one rambunctious mini schnauzer named, Melody.

I love Jesus.

I love my family.

I hope that I can share with you all the little and big things that bring me great joy.  One of which is this little lady right here….